The Weight of the Wait Lifted

After the phone call, it was a bit over 36 hours before my follow-up appointment for the new scans.  While I prepared myself mentally for “whatever” would come, I was reminded of Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV) which says:

“You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.”

Some would say that it’s pretty simple-minded to believe that the verse above could be expected to really make a difference.  If that’s true, then count me among the simple-minded.  Eighteen words…words that were written so long ago that some consider them irrelevant for today’s issues and complications…worked for me.

In fact, they worked so well for me that I was able to focus on having fun with my husband on our last day off, take joy in the blessings that God seemed to delight in sending my way during that time and also be available to give comfort and attention to a loved one who was facing a struggle of their own.   I slept without difficulty and woke refreshed.

Over the next day I’d occasionally see a breast cancer awareness commercial or the notation on the calendar and be reminded of my appointment and the possible implications for my future.  Each time I chose to repeat that verse in my mind and God allowed it to penetrate my mind and take over my spirit.  I was peaceful.  I hate waiting—and I was peace-full.

There are people who think that faith in God is for the weak and the stupid.  I disagree.  I think a case could be made that religion for religion’s sake fits that criteria, but the God I serve is personal, so His response to each person and each circumstance is not a canned, predictable event.  It takes strength to have faith and to choose to believe all that the Bible says is true…especially when you don’t know what God will choose for you.  God could have chosen to let me wait without peace.  He could just as easily chosen another option for me.  Instead, He chose to bring a portion of His word to my mind and turn this situation into a practical-application exercise.  I do trust Him.  Implicitly.  Because that is true, the rest of the verse was also an accurate indicator of my response:  God’s own if-then statement in real life.  Once again, I slept in peace and woke ready to see what God’s choice would be.

I was the first one back.  Multiple images later—which apparently raised even more questions about the results–I was taken to another room for an ultra-sound.  The technician took her time and repeatedly returned to a specific area pressing in even more forcefully than the mammogram plates had earlier.  I began to accept that my next adventure might involve spending some significant time increasing my medical knowledge in the field of oncology.  I mentally repeated Isaiah’s words and told God again that I would choose to praise Him no matter what He chose for me.  I began to do so even then.  With God’s word still resounding in my head, a dimly lit room and ‘hillbilly music’ coming from the speakers, I was still so peaceful that I almost drifted off to sleep.  In my mind, I was aware that this, too, was part of the verse being fulfilled and I marveled again at a God so personal and so powerful.

Quite a bit later, the Dr made an appearance in the room.  He reviewed the results and pronounced his judgement:  I am well…dense, but whole…without any indication of cancer or other medical issue in need of remediation.  I took my free ribbon–shaped sugar cookie with the pink icing and headed out into the sunlight with a smile on my face.  Sure, I was glad for the Dr’s medical determination, but I was much more impressed and delighted with my God’s determination to show Himself faithful and prove that His word to me is true all over again.  If there are those who think that makes me simple-minded…I’m ok with that.

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9 thoughts on “The Weight of the Wait Lifted

  1. Becky, I’m so glad everything worked out so good for you. It is a scary time, but God love and healing touch builds strong bridges!

  2. Praising the Lord for your good news. I am learning to praise God in both my good and what I think are bad circumstances. I truly am trusting that He is in control of ALL of my life. Thank you for your blog. It is so comforting to read your words.

    • Thanks, Tisha! That can be a difficult lesson to remember. I’ve found that no matter what the circumstance is, however, it is my response to it that determines whether or not is is really a ‘bad’ thing. I’ve managed to ‘waste’ some really good times and I’ve also seen God take incredibly difficult times and bring so much good out of them–in terms of growth, ability to witness, and just the ability for pure praise–that I’m trying to face each day with, “Ok, God, how do you want to use me and what do you want to say today?” Since He’s in charge, I don’t have to judge the circumstance so much as I have to regulate my response to it.

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