I’m one of those people who like to have a plan. I’m a planner. I can generally process information pretty quickly, see several different angles, choose a direction based on the information and formulate a workable plan with minimal delay.
That all works pretty well right up until you get a glitch in THAT plan….the planning plan.
The glitch is especially monumental if it happens right in the first step. Getting accurate information is absolutely crucial to planning. It’s what you base everything else on, so you’ve got to start there…and that’s where my problem lies.
My posts have been sporadic over the last two weeks because we’ve been dealing with some health issues here. They are “serious, but manageable” according to those we’ve seen. They have a plan. WE are not entirely sure what it is yet. That makes it tougher to follow.
Oh, we know some of the basics and we’ve been doing the things we know, but my “planning brain” is more than a bit frustrated by the relative slowness of the necessary information as it trickles in to us. Others who have traveled this same path say we’re “right on schedule” and that we should “relax.”
Ever notice how hard it is to “relax” when you have people telling you to do so?
This isn’t worry. I know what that looks like. This a processing issue that makes my brain feel like someone keeps pressing the pause button…kind of like what would happen when we watched our movies on tapes that still made the picture jump a bit even after you hit the pause button…it wants to go forward but something keeps holding it back so the picture looks wonky onscreen. I’m feeling a bit of sympathy for those old tapes now.
Realistically, I’m aware that the ones who DO have the information are not holding back on purpose just to frustrate me. I’m aware that the calendar…the very number of hours in a day…are limited and that is simply isn’t possible for us to see all of the ones we’ll need to see, have them review the information of their various areas of expertise and make a plan specifically for us based on that information before getting back to us with their part of it. I’m aware that there are more of them than there are of us…and I’m extremely aware that we’re not their only concern. There are others waiting and depending on their plan, as well.
I’m aware of all those things…and it doesn’t do a thing to help me process and proceed with a plan for us. I’m going to have to wait. Waiting isn’t my forte. In fact, I have never excelled at waiting and I really have no desire to get better at it! I want to know NOW. (Anyone else out there recognize themselves here, too?)
Times like this require me to look at the larger plan…the one that I already DO know about…the one my God has had in place since time began:
“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for well-being, and not for calamity, in order to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ISV, 2012)
THAT is what lets me not worry. That is what helps me relax (even if it only feels like just a little bit, right now). I know the One with the ultimate plan. I guess I can wait on the rest for now.