NCN 2019–Days 27-30

IMG_20171125_071335337Well, it’s here! We’re right at the end of NO COMPLAIN NOVEMBER 2019. This will be my last post for the month because I am choosing to celebrate Thanksgiving and LIFE with people who hold the biggest part of my heart. I pray that your days will be spent in much the same way. I pray that they are GOOD DAYS and, even if they are less than you’d like them to be, that you will choose to make the most of them.

I have been truly honored to share this month with you and I’ll be looking forward to seeing how well we all do carrying the lessons we learned into December and beyond. Despite all of the faults we hear so loudly proclaimed, God has given us a good world and plenty of opportunities to make the difficult places better simply by choosing to respond in positive and healing ways.

We will be people of influence…no matter what responses we choose. I hope we all choose the best ones.

Thanks for joining me this month! May God be praised by your life, your witness to the world, and your choices to make life better for those around you!

Remember: you can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION!

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17 (ESV)

Grace and Peace!

NCN 2019–Day 26

Today is a beloved cousin’s birthday AND her wedding anniversary, as well! I remember picking roses from the bush in front of my Mississippi house and being ever so grateful that God had given us so many to decorate her wedding cake–after all, it was right on Thanksgiving Day that year! I also remember how we had so much food prepared for her reception and the family Thanksgiving celebration that the roses ended up being stored outside overnight in the cars…where the water in ALL of the vases froze absolutely solid. 

IMG_20181130_071351806_HDRIt was quite a sight and quite a shock! We weren’t expecting that. We didn’t let it change the wedding plans or have a major affect on the wedding festivities, though. We just laughed, cut the blooms off, and left the stems in the frozen water! Her cake was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I still think about it every time I pass by similar blooms here at my current Georgia home.

I picked those bushes on purpose once I got settled here. They’re my favorite…and what could have made us upset that day, just made us laugh and turned into one of our favorite family memories.

Whether its a Tuesday or a holiday, we get to choose how we react to what happens. We get to decide. Sometimes we do that really well. Other times, we realize later, we should have taken more time before we pronounced our judgments or relayed our responses.

That’s one of the most important lessons I hope we learn from NO COMPLAIN NOVEMBER: the rush to respond rarely leaves us with a good memory or leaves others with a good impression. Once we become determined not to complain, it automatically makes our brains become wired to look for solutions instead of becoming bogged down in the challenges. It doesn’t stop the challenges, it just changes the way we view them! They can then become adventures, funny stories, opportunities for growth, and a chance to bless those around us by illustrating creative problem-solving and a choice to add to the number of blessings we share with the world and the ones we love in it.

It’s a pretty good opportunity to share the goodness of our God, as well.

It’s a choice. Are you willing to keep making the right ones?

Remember: you can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION!

Grace and Peace! (and Happy Birthday and Anniversary, dear Cousins!)

NCN 2019–Day 25

tablescape1Happy Monday, everybody! I hope your weekend was a great one! We managed to get several things knocked off the to-do list…like…going to the eye doctor and finding out that we’re getting old..er…well, at least our eyes are! (LOL!) As we searched though all the frames in the universe for our next glasses–let me pause right here and give God praise for the patience and entertainment factor from our assistant in this venture! She was fantastic!–we realized that we’re in that “awkward stage” between not wanting to look too old OR look like we’re trying too hard NOT to be too old! HA! It was actually quite a bit of fun choosing new frames and trying on all kinds of new personas just by changing out this tiny thing about our lives.

It’s made me think: What other tiny things can we change that will make a difference in our lives. Hmmmm…MAYBE we could extend NO COMPLAIN NOVEMBER into DON’T COMPLAIN DECEMBER? (did I really just hear a collective groan?! seriously?!…or was that just me? oops!) No, I’m not serious and, yet, yes! I am. While we won’t continue the official challenge, I am going to ask you to seriously evaluate “what looks better on you” as a new month approaches. Have you noticed a positive change from this challenge? Has it made an impact in your home or work place? What if you decided to keep it up…and made it a lifestyle?

Many people I know have chosen to make a list of blessing this month instead of trying not to complain. I suspect that both challenges have resulted in a more positive outlook and, hopefully, a permanent thought process shift. Why give up either of those challenges as we keep moving forward? Let’s end 2019 and begin 2020 on the high note of choosing to become better people and inviting others to join us in the adventure! Let’s find new ways to work the wonder of the Savior’s birth into our upcoming year instead of just focusing on it for the month of December! I could use some extra wonder in my life! How about you?

What kinds of lessons learned will you take with you into this next month and beyond? How will you choose to celebrate the season of God’s greatest gift? Wouldn’t an attitude of gratitude STILL be appropriate as we enter the coming new year? What if you chose to permanently be a person of positive influence in the world?

As we gather together to give “official” thanks later this week, let’s stay focused on all we truly have to consider as blessings. Stay positive, stay aware of your blessings, and keep on finding ways to “not complain” as you celebrate this last official week of NO COMPLAIN NOVEMBER!

Remember: you can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION!

Grace and Peace!

NCN 2019–Day 21

Twenty-one days! How’s it going for you on this month-long challenge to change your life? (grin) MY GOODNESS! Doesn’t that sentence sound dramatic?! Yes. It does, but I’ve found that sometimes the biggest changes can begin from the smallest of starts. Consistency is key and choosing to consistently eliminate the negative words and attitudes withIN us will, over time, help eliminate more and more of the negative words and attitudes around us!

This year has been quite the adventure for us. It’s been a time of…well…it’s been a challenge. That’s not a complaint. It’s a fact. As I spoke with some neighbors just yesterday I mentioned that 2019 has been a challenging year for more people that I know than those I know who’ve sailed through it.

Earlier in the year (and not too long ago–as in OCTOBER!!) I became overwhelmed for a short time by all that needed to be done. God, in His grace and wisdom, gave me a break and a talking to by my husband. (HA!) I was frustrated by all the many things that had interfered with my oh-so-carefully crafted schedule…repeatedly...as in: I no longer seemed to HAVE a schedule. (This might take a little bit, so get comfortable, ok? Hang with me, though. I promise: There is a point and an application.)

That was a problem for this slightly OCD/schedule-oriented person. I desperately wanted things to be different–on SO many fronts that I couldn’t fix or fight!–but this lack of schedule was right at the top for me and I just couldn’t get a handle on it. My frustration had built up until it just overflowed like lava one Sunday morning and I had a meltdown right out there on my back porch. Overwhelmed didn’t even touch it. I was tired in every way possible and, for the first time in a very long while, I wasn’t sure I was going to figure it out…at least not in time to make it happen for all of the others who were depending on me.

I had put so much pressure on myself to get everything done to my own personal standard in such a shortened time frame…do you see where I’m going with this? Maybe you’ve done that, too? At some point…or eight? Yes, I thought so. I am Wonder Woman, though, so of course this shouldn’t have happened to me! (insert a VERY wry grin and a great big eye roll here.) Ever notice how easy it becomes to head into the dark side when you’re tired and frustrated?

ANYway! The gist of the conversation with my husband revolved around his assessment of my efforts (which was FAR more generous to me that I had been to myself!) and his loving observation that in making every other person we were trying to serve as a couple a much higher priority than I had made my own self I had gotten lost in the shuffle. That needed to change. He asked me to list some of the things I was most frustrated by and was a little bit taken aback, I think, by all that poured out in response. He began to list some of the ways he thought might help me–INCLUDING taking time out to take care of ME and do something that didn’t have anything to do with anyone else. He thought I should start painting again. To be honest, at first it felt like a condemnation of just one more way I was failing and even more things that needed to be added to my “schedule.” Knowing his heart, however, I stayed still and tried to listen for the intent and not just the content of what he was saying.

That conversation saved me. Literally. It saved me and my sanity and my attitude and my heart that was hurting with all of those unrealistic expectations–that were mostly (allmine and never ever said by the people I was trying to serve. I never want to forget all of that grace and love and wisdom that God sent through my husband and straight to me in my time of desperation. Although he was doing the talking, I was being HEARD and that made all the difference in the world.

At the end of it, he asked me what I had gotten out of our conversation. There were lots of things, but the one that came out of my mouth was this: I need to make a list instead of making a schedule.

I’m not sure he was expecting that, but he readily agreed and reminded me that doing so ALSO meant that the list would evolve over time. It would grow and it would shorten, it would change directions, it needed to include things that would take care of ME and not just everyone else…and it didn’t all have to be done at once. RELIEF! A list is something that I could manage right then–and he encouraged me to do so…right then. 

IMG_20191121_072157403I headed into the house and grabbed some art supplies. I’m not sure that was what he expected, either, but it was crucial for me. He was right. I needed a list, but I also needed to take care of me a little bit before I could go back to taking care of everyone else right then. A short time later I added this tiny painting to my window sill in the kitchen so I would keep a reminder before me and, hopefully, avoid another meltdown! I was too tired to even be creative on my own, so I chose an image from Pinterest that I liked and just made my own personal version of it along with the words, “make a list, not a schedule,” and down at the bottom I added a tiny heart to remind me that I needed to love on myself while I loved on those I was working to serve.

It’s helped me.

So did the 8 pages of list that I made right after that. Yes. EIGHT pages. It’s no wonder that my mind was on overload. I was trying to remember everything and do everything all by myself. I use to make lists for every day in addition to the “continually running schedule in my head” and I had gotten away from doing that. Now, making my list helps me to remember that I can be more flexible. “THE LIST” might never get completely done, but I can make some serious progress! I can take it in smaller doses instead of setting unrealistic expectations or time lines. I can be proactive and do smaller tasks/ mark them off when I need to see progress or I can choose to do larger tasks based on actual priority instead of the order it popped into my head and got added to the list.

All that to say this: the holiday season is almost here. There will be a LOT to do on top of your already big to-do list, so actually MAKE A LIST and start to check it off instead of trying to keep the one running inside your head or make a schedule that only puts pressure on you. Maybe you need to grab some art supplies, too, or a take a walk, listen to music, or sit and actually pet your pet! Whatever it is that will feed your soul, put THAT on your list, as well. Build some time into every day that doesn’t have anything else to do with anyONE else but you. It might just make NCN over the holidays become an easier effort for you and everyone else, as well.

Remember: you can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION! (even on the list! grin)

Grace and Peace!

 

NCN 2019–Day 18

Honesty alert! I’ve been tearing up my house looking for something that’s important to me. For some reason–and I cannot imagine the WHY of this–I failed to put this thing back where it belonged. That’s almost unheard of for me about this particular object. Consequently, I have to report that I would give myself a failing grade on NCN over the last 12 hours or so…and some of that was sleep time! (ha!)

Ever done that? Misplaced something? Failed at something you usually do well? Well. All I can say is that I hope you are calmer and more gracious than I have felt about this. I am much more likely to be the one who finds things than the one who loses them. I typically put things back where they “live” when I’m finished–and typing this sentence actually made me laugh because it reminds me of my sister.

When I first moved to Atlanta after grad school I didn’t have very much. It was easy to find things because there wasn’t a lot of competition for space in my apartment! I found that I really liked that, so as I began to acquire things, I opted for choosing defined homes for my stuff. My sister visited and commented about how nice everything looked. Several months later, she came back, walked in, looked around, and said, “Everything is in EXACTLY the same place. This is a sickness.” HA!

That’s the way it goes, isn’t it?! What seems right to someone also seems strange to someone else! HOW WONDERFUL is that?! We are NOT all the same! No clones, No carbon copies, NO BOREDOM because there is this gorgeously and divinely planned patchwork of crazy-quilt people in the our world! GOD has made us different ON PURPOSE–and at least part of that, I am convinced, is so that we can see and get to know a little bit of HIM in every person we meet.

We get to choose how we react about that, you know? We can choose to celebrate the differences and look for ways to see them as strengths–because they ARE for the other person who lives a different life than the one life we live. We can choose to look for the good–and GOD–instead of starting to complain or rush right to frustration over all of the ways someone else does it “wrong.”

This is not a plea for political correctness. It is not a call for allowing chaos. It is most especially not a promotion of the idea that we’re all somehow nebulously “Divine” or a rejection of the God we learn about in Scripture. It IS, instead, a call for greater harmony as we look past our differences and annoyances to seek out ways we can encourage the strength and the blessing of those around us this week.

Heading into the holiday season can up the ante on schedules and attitudes as we gather with those we don’t see very often and spend more time in “confined spaces” with those we do, but it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. We can CHOOSE our responses to our differences! Let’s make better choices this year! Who knows what our encouragement can help others achieve?

Remember: you can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION!

Grace and Peace!

 

NCN 2019–Day 14

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”  ~Abraham Lincoln

I read this quote the other day and I’ve thought about it several times since then. Naturally, I trust the source. I mean, after all…it IS the internet. (grin)

Whether or not this is an actual quote by Abraham Lincoln, the intent behind it is still powerful. It illustrates a strength of character that we could ALL use when we run up against a situation or someone we “don’t like.” We need to look beyond the surface of what is annoying and find out the WHY of things.

THAT knowledge can help us decide whether a situation actually REQUIRES “fixing” or is a simple adjustment (on our part, perhaps?) might just be the ticket to making it work or helping us work together in greater harmony. Life is too short to live in continual chaos and disorder, anger and frustration, but getting some more information before we run off–either literally or at the mouth!–about it might make the situations we are frustrated with better for EVVVeryone involved.

I am a classic illustration. I can name on way less than my two whole hands the number of people that I’ve “disliked on sight” and just never got over my initial impression. That’s a good thing. It means I’ve met a lot of great people! I learned early on, however, that when someone strikes sparks off me that hard from the start…well, it means I need to look a little closer. Sometimes, those people are just _____ (fill in your own blank here!) and SOMETIMES it is because God is showing me how I appear to others.

That’s not a comfortable thought, but it is a truthful one.

With very few exceptions, I’ve found that the people who frustrate me the most are the ones with whom I have an attitude, a habit, or a character flaw in common. I see in them the things that need to change the most about ME…and it’s sometimes annoying when God points out that we need to change. (insert very heartfelt eye roll here) I am convinced that when He’s tried other unsuccessful methods of helping me improve in an area, God often sends me a visual aid. It’s not comfortable when that happens. Unfortunately, for me, He’s had to do that more than once–to the point that now, when I meet someone who is a “visual aid” for me, I immediately want to know them a little better as quickly as possible so I can find out what we have in common…and what I will need to change…in me.

If I can also help them to learn or change in the process, so much the better.

God is funny about that stuff. He rarely wastes an effort to make us better.

So…who or what do you need to get to know a little better today? Think about it, but don’t take too long. It’s always more comfortable to be the one who needs the clue than to find out you’re the one who is the visual aid! You do NOT want to be THAT person of influence! (ha! ask me how I know this!)

Remember: You can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.

Grace and Peace!

 

NCN 2019–Day 13

The weather app on my phone says the temperature here at home in Georgia was 23 degrees Fahrenheit when I woke up this morning. That. Is. Cold. We can’t fix that.

Just a little over a month ago, the high for the day here was 98 degrees Fahrenheit. That. Is. Hot. We couldn’t fix that, either.

I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but people complained about both…and some people will complain no matter what the weather is doing even though the complaints do nothing to fix it. Hmmmm…what can we learn from this?

  1. Some other things are out of our control.
  2. Complaining won’t change the truth of #1.
  3. If we wait a little bit, our SITUATIONS will change of their own accord…OR we will learn to adapt.
  4. God is still in control of ALL of it. He’s been doing this for quite some time and, this is just a guess here, but…I think we can trust Him. (wink)
  5. The weather isn’t the only thing this list applies to in our lives.

When we come up against things that we can’t control, our best efforts become aimed at adaptation. It doesn’t mean that we don’t ever discuss what we would prefer, but that action for how to mitigate our discomfort/frustration is ALWAYS more productive than talking about “how bad things are.”

The wisest man that ever lived penned these words:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 (NIV)

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Did you see that? There is a time for EVERYTHING–even that thing that bugs you. IF you can’t change it, at least acknowledge that it is most likely temporary…and get on with the adaptation process.

What in your life is in need of adaptation today? Your solution could change the world for you AND for someone else! (Oh my! There’s that becoming a person of influence again! LOL) Don’t stay stuck in the complaint department! Get busy moving forward!

Make the differences YOU can make!

Remember: YOU can do this! PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION!

Grace and Peace!