The Uses of Sorrow by Mary Oliver
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
I read this poem for the first time today and I love it. I get it. It feels personal and like something I could have written from my own experience…if I were more of a wordsmith.
I used to hate poetry. It “took too much time” and I didn’t see the point of making people work to figure out what the writer meant when using prose would make the job much more straight forward.
I was younger then. I had a busy schedule alongside a drive to come in first and, if possible, match up to the labels from and the expectations of other people. Time was of the essence. While I could often be found with my nose in a book of fiction, history, or in search of specific information, I attended more to the needs of my academic mind than to the requirements of my heart.
The book stacks beside the chair today have as many volumes of poetry as there are of fiction or research. I read in snatches, stopping by for a leisurely word with Wendell Berry, Robert Frost, or King David before moving on to the more mundane tasks of folding laundry or heading out to pick up sticks or pull a few weeds. I look for ways to beautify and enjoy even the most common tasks. Moving between the physical and the metaphysical, arming the mind and spirit before marching toward the manual labor–my days are a mixture far from what I could have ever imagined on those days when I hated poetry.
I’m older now and more focused on making God smile than meeting the expectations of others. I find He’s an easier taskmaster than I am and that grace is something I am ever in need of. Wisdom too often comes slower that we’d like, but my determined spirit is still as strong as ever. I am learning and choosing to curate my reading and my daily schedule…because time is of the essence and the heart needs blessing, too.
“…It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.”
Grace and Peace.
quiet ambitions: 