Confession

I absolutely DESPISE being wrong. I like it even less when the very words I have taught for years become something of which I need to be reminded…by my husband, who loves me enough to speak truth in the most loving way possible and steps out to lead me back to where he knows I actually want to stay. (It’s sweet and precious and I still don’t like it. 😉😂 May God bless him for doing it anyway!)

For the past several weeks now, I have been extremely frustrated by a situation outside of my control. I wasn’t involved until it happened, but it has affected my daily private life in a deep and personal way. I’ve been consumed and yet I have no choice but to push forward and take the lead in “making things right” while those whose fault and responsibility it is remain untouched and uninvolved. It isn’t fair…and that is something that has always pushed my buttons…HARD. I’ve lost hours of sleep over that one thing alone.

All of that is the short story. Here’s the micro-verson: I’ve been really angry and grumpy and whiny in my spirit. Sonetimes that leaked out.

Let me be the first to say, “It hasn’t been pretty.”

Late last week, during a business trip with my husband, God finally made a dent in all of my anger. That wasn’t pretty either. He got my complete attention when He made it clear that I had been spending more of my time laser-focused on all the stuff I was frustrated by in this situation…than I had spent with and on Him.

Oh, Father. It took my breath and it hurt my heart and there was absolutely no wiggle room for denial in any way. Suddenly, although all the things I said above (and all the things I didn’t!) are still true, they no longer held the same weight.

When you understand that God loves you enough to confront you, there is only one possible choice: agree with Him and get over yourself.

Today I am confessing again (!!!) what I have taught for years:

1. I can’t worship and whine at the same time. (You can’t either.)

2. God’s plan may be for our good, but that doesn’t mean we will always feel good about it. The sooner we get on board with that and start asking what He wants us to learn from it, the sooner we can represent Him well.

3. Anything that takes our focus from God is a misplaced priority…and causes us to sin.

4. There’s only one reasonable action in that kind of situation: confession.

5. Confession does no good unless you also make a conscious choice to repent (make a 180° turn) and make the necessary ongoing changes to return to whatever is in clear alignment with God’s will according to His Word. (For me, that has included deliberately singing praise songs when my mind wants to wander back and settle into to the anger and “unfairness” of it all.)

6. Give thanks for God’s confrontation. He loves us enough to desire a level of fellowship that simply isn’t possible when we’re choosing to give other things priority over Him. And,

7. Remember to give thanks for those who love us enough to always point us back to Jesus and say the things we have (hopefully) been saying to help and encourage them, as well.

I’m not sure who else needed to see this today, but…

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (NIV)

Grace and Peace, dear friend. Grace and Peace.

Doodling

I bought myself a little happy last week: a small blank book. These days, that seems like the best kind as I wait for things to happen on several different fronts. Appointments, discussions, proposed solutions, ruminations, and travel have left me with fluctuating pockets of time on my hands and…I am really bad at just sitting still despite God’s admonishment to,

“Be still, and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

I am well aware that the “stillness” in this verse is more about a lack of fretting, but still…I tend to be literal. I am also quite aware that HE is God and I am not, so “check!” on that part. It’s the stillness part that I both revel in and rebel against on a regular basis.

Waiting in this life is a given. How we approach it is often up for grabs. Location changes mean I have a need for something portable. This option leaves me with something tangible, as well, so this is my best compromise for now. I’m praying and filling blank pages with doodles while I wait.

What do you do while you wait? Are you good at it? Tips and pointers welcomed!

Grace and Peace!

Things large and small

It was a very long night with storms and tornadoes and disrupted rest. Family, friends, and close neighbors remained safe…and now this. So, thank you, Hardees, for the unexpected heart-shaped breakfast, but mostly…

Thank you, God. I hear you. I love you, too.

Grace and Peace!

I lift my eyes

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at the mountains. Each look feels fresh and yet reminds me of ancient words…

 “I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121: 1-2 (ESV)

I am grateful for the view, the reminder, and the help.

Grace and Peace!

Touch ups

It’s time for a touch up. Actually, it’s way past time. In fact, I’m not sure when these vintage pieces got their last one. What I DO know is that I can only hope that the paint I’m using this time lasts as long and performs as well as the previous touch up.

This isn’t a task I do with a specific regularity or timeline. In fact, if they were still at my previous country-cottage home in Georgia, their chippy paint still wouldn’t merit a second glance from me or any of my visitors. The more private, tree-covered garden setting there meant they weren’t on public display. In fact, a few of these pieces haven’t been painted since I bought them–and I loved their already weathered patina on sight.

I still love it…but, while their purpose remains the same, their setting has changed. This mid-century classic house and yard have a more formal attitude and these pieces now reside on the busy corner of a city block.

We are all, once again, country come to town here–and, that means some things will need to change. Oh, it won’t be in the “essentials” of personality, purpose, or general points of view, but the occasionally spruced up wardrobe seems to be required…for the furniture, at least. This town is extremely laid back and casual, so almost anything goes for the humans here. I like that.

Without the cover of all those Georgia pines and old growth oaks, however, we’re going to need some shade around the pool here this summer. I found a great end-of-season deal on some crisp and clean cream-colored umbrellas last year…and they look entirely too new and shiny against all of the rustic, chippy layers with multiple colors making their appearance along with plenty of dust and more than a sprinkling of lichen. Hence the painting party.

Naturally, all this touching up has made me think, though, of how we so often grow comfortable in our settings, attitudes, and our casual displays of who we’re called to be. We forget, sometimes, that there’s a whole world watching and they may only get an idea about who Jesus is by what we show them. Furthermore, in all of our comfort, we forget that we have a moment-by-moment need for staying in touch with the One who loves us most.

I thought about the woman with the issue of blood from Mark 5. After 12 years of suffering and being told to hide in private so as not to create problems for others, she pushed past people and “propriety” for just a touch of the hem on the Master’s garment.

She just needed a touch up.

She wasn’t concerned about how it looked or what other people thought. It turns out, the people around her didn’t even know she was there, but Jesus did. He noticed. He stopped. He healed her. He called out to her and He validated her faith.

I think that’s something we could all probably use. Our issues may not be visible or public knowledge, but we all have them. Don’t wait. Reach out to Him today. He’s just as willing to help us as He was to help her. HIS touch ups make all the difference in the world…and when others see the difference He makes in us, hopefully, they will reach out to Him, too.

Grace and Peace!

The pile

This is a picture of the pile of yard debris out by my curb. It contains several very dead branches from a boxwood, a tall, young oak tree that decided to spring up in the center of said boxwood, a bit of unproductive azalea, multiple branches of holly that were trying to become bushes again (that stuff will NOT die!), and a significant number of nandinas cut down this past Saturday. It makes quite the pile. By the time this is published, the pile will have been removed by the city workers to wherever it is that they take such things here and the curb area will be clean again.

The pile is actually pretty. There’s not a single thing in it that I haven’t, at some point in the past, used in a floral arrangement and sent out to bring cheer to someone I love.

What makes this time different? Location, timing, and knowledge.

If I had to guess, those are some of the same criteria I believe God uses when He starts the pruning process in my life…and, maybe, yours, too.

Some of the things in my pile looked pretty good in place, but they were dangerous to other living things. Some were thorny and could injure those who got too close. Others had already passed their usefulness and were simply taking up space required for new growth.

Again, I know God sees some of those same things in me. He, alone, knows the best times for the removal of those attitudes, actions, and beliefs that need to change–even if they might have been useful at some point in our past. When I grant Him full access, His activity in my life is a cause for celebration and brings me closer to the picture of what He has planned for my best interests…even if the pruning process isn’t usually all that comfortable…or pretty.

What if we looked at our current areas of discomfort for guidelines of what God might be choosing to prune for our growth instead of assuming “it’s the other guy’s fault” and joining in the fray? What if we trusted and cooperated instead of growing angry and frustrated? What if we chose peace instead of the pile?

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.“ John 15: 1-4 (NIV)

Grace and Peace!

The Ugly Stage

It doesn’t take me long to do a quick sketch or whip up a small drawing on a postcard. I have a pretty specific idea of what I want, grab a pen and card, do it, and move along. Easy peasy.

Taking on a larger work is quite a different story. This one is a great example. I painted the 18″x24″ canvas with a beautiful midnight blue cover coat over a year ago. I had a specific idea in mind, but I just haven’t been able to make myself start on it. Something’s not right. I haven’t been sure this was actually the canvas for it, the time for it, and…well, the size for it. In my mind, I just can’t make it fit. That project may need to be even larger.

I started off last week just putting some brush strokes in place for the base just to make sure. I was right. This canvas isn’t big enough for that vision. Moving on! What’s next? Something totally different while I keep thinking things through for that one…and where I can keep learning while I wait for “all the things” to gel in my mind.

Right now, I don’t know where this new one is going. I’m not sure what will happen or how long it will take to finish. I’m taking my time. Putting in a few touches at a time. Trying some new-to-me things. Standing back. Evaluating next steps, colors, and strokes. Taking a picture. Walking away. Thinking. Showing back up in front of it. Repeat, repeat, repeat. It’s all part of the process. I’m playing with it and just having fun right now. So far, so good. It’s still developing. It looks odd right now. I’m ok with that. I’m making progress.

Every painting has at least one “ugly stage,” and there’s always a purpose for it. I usually learn something to take it to the next level or, at the very least, to the next painting. Once I realized that, I’ve begun to look forward to getting there. It means things are about to turn and start getting better. Believe it or not, this painting still isn’t there yet. There’s some serious ugly yet to come and I can’t wait!

Sometimes our lives hit an “ugly stage,” as well. It isn’t nearly so much fun as my putting paint on a canvas. Those ugly stages can be quite painful and, since we aren’t in control, we have no idea how long they might last or what the intended purpose might be. but…

God knows.

He knows all about it. Better yet, He knows all about US. There IS a purpose and there is a plan. Scripture reminds us that–no matter who or what we’re dealing with!!–The Plan is for our eventual good. Just knowing that means I can start looking for the lesson. Somehow, that helps me. It isn’t bad luck and it isn’t random. God is at work in the ugly stages and He is in the busness of making all things new (Rev. 21:5).

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

Today I am praying that your ugly stages are shorter than mine and that your learning curve is quite a bit shallower! May God be praised no matter what stage we’re in and may our life canvases always bring Him glory.

Grace and Peace!

What’s in front of you?

I’ve been drawing things since I was little. Everyone does. When we’re small, there’s something exciting about grabbing even a broken crayon and trying to put on paper whatever you can. “Draw what’s in front of you,” we were told and we worked so hard to get it right.

As we got older, some of us doodled on notebook covers, scraps of paper, or napkins during phone calls, meetings, or down time. Many people quit doing that after awhile and exchanged their drawings for words spoken, written, and read.

A few of us still attempt to do both…often with very mixed results.

I’ve always been drawn to nature. Seeing, drawing, writing–celebrating all the things God created and knowing He counts me among them–makes me feel closer to Him. I see Him in front of me in the details. I hear Him beside me in the words. I find Him–still busy creating!– in all of the sounds, shapes, and colors surrounding me and I learn more of Him in the recording of them regardless of which medium I use.

I’ve learned of His love and faithfulness by observing the beauty He takes time to create for us. I’ve learned of His wisdom by the way science and nature sing His truths. I know of His mercies by the new opportunities He provides each day. His watchcare is evident in the limits of each season and in the measures of time because He knows our human form needs rest and renewal as much as we need work and wonder.

He surrounds me on all sides, above and below, and gives evidence of His great compassion even as He compells me to know His commitment to righteousness.

I read His Word and view His artwork and I find I don’t have to work as hard as I use to in the pursuit of “getting it ALL right.” I’m learning to give myself the grace HE sends my way in the process. My doodles and my scribblings help me see what’s in front of me…and it’s always Him.

“But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you; or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you. Who among all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.”

Job 12: 7-10

Grace and Peace!

Taglines

A weekend visit with friends led us to the book section of the nearby Unclaimed Baggage store. As I put away my few “book treasures” this morning, I was highly entertained by the tagline on their bag–especially since it applies to me, as well! (Thank you, Father God!)

I couldn’t wait to share my amusement with several friends. My friend Althea responded with a question about what her own tag might say…and I chuckled as I responded, “priceless!”

Our exchange also made me think about the labels we apply to ourselves. It seems easy enough to recognize and even call out our encouragement to those around us, while we often forget to encourage ourselves.

As our own harshest critics–and I can definitely see the value of self-monitoring–we must also remember to become our own biggest cheerleaders. As we start this brand new week, let’s take a moment to give thanks for and call out some of the good things that make us who we are.

What’s your favorite thing about YOU?

What areas of growth have you been pursuing or working toward this year?

List 3 special skills that you have and use to bless others?

Think for a moment and create your own tagline just for fun. Write it on a sticky note and place it where you can see it throughout the week. Be kind and gentle. Give yourself a reason to smile! Recognize your strengths, skills, and super-powers. (Yes, you DO have them!) Speak words of truth and affirmation–after all, God loves you dearly, made you on purpose, and delights in His creation. Join Him in celebrating His work in your life today!

…and share them with me, please, so I can celebrate with you!!!

Grace and Peace!

Names and Faces

I’ve been drawing faces as an art exercise this year. Using 2 pens, one in each hand, I draw lines to play with symetry (and not), light and shadow, expression and form. The faces are soon completed and, although I am their creator, their final attitudes always surprise me. My sketchbook is filling up with all of these different personalities which seem to emerge from my pens all on their own.

I look at them in their final state and express my continued amazement that God is never surprised by us…and, then, I give thanks for it. I need a God who knows me that well.

Looking at today’s drawings, I am reminded of Walt Whitman’s long and long-ago poem entitled, “Faces“, wherein he describes those he passes and calls them by their stories. He never mentions their names. He sees only their appearances.

God calls us in a far more personal manner. The prophet Isaiah assured us of this when he wrote,

“But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.’ ”

Isaiah 43:1

In other parts of Scripture (Romans 2:11, Colossians 3:25), we’re told that God doesn’t play favorites. James 2:9, goes even further by reminding us that doing so is a sin…and God is without sin. Why does that matter? Because if God could call Jacob by name and remember His promises to him through Jacob’s descendants long after his passing, you can be assured that He knows your name, too.

God sees past our present appearances and draws us toward His deepest desire: the reflection of His Son, who gave up not only His comfort, but His life for us. We are known by name and desired by our Creator. We are more than faces, in all of our shapes and places, we are His workmanship and the way He wants to show others how much He loves them, as well.

May we rush to fulfill His vision.

Grace and Peace!